It isn’t much of a surprise that dick slinging grifter Mark Sanford won South Carolina’s 1st Congressional District seat, beating out Elizabeth Colbert tonight. No you’re not surprised that the man who abandoned his post as governor to go fuck his mistress in South America on tax payer dime was re-elected into public office. This is South Carolina after all — where meth and moonshine is whats keeping your sister from realizing that her boyfriend is really her brother, but then again she probably knew all along.
Sanford, 52, a Republican, defeated Democrat Elizabeth Colbert Busch, a 58-year old businesswoman best known nationally as comedian Stephen Colbert’s older sister, in a special election to fill a seat vacated by former Rep. Tim Scott (R-S.C.). Scott was appointed by the state’s Republican governor to the U.S. Senate after Jim DeMint left his seat early to lead The Heritage Foundation, a D.C. think tank.
This is the case where a constituency with the IQ of a tree stump comes in handy. USA! USA! USA!
Narcissistic man-child Joe Francis the creator of the now bankrupted “Girls Gone Wild” franchise was found guilty on Monday of misdemeanor counts of assault and false imprisonment. Back in 20011, Francis convinced some girls to join him at his place where he showed them his (allegedly) tiny penis at which point the girls laughed and headed for the door, but Francis had other ideas — like assaulting them.
From the Huffpost:
Francis met the three women as they celebrated a college graduation at a the Supper Club in Hollywood on Jan. 29, 2011, took one of them by the hand as he left and took her to his limo, and the other two followed thinking Francis was giving them a ride to their car, prosecutors said.
Prosecutors said Francis took the women to his home and a dispute broke out when he tried to separate one from the other two, with Francis grabbing one of the women by the hair and throat and slammed her head into the floor.
Francis will be sentence on May 8th, at which point he will be hauled off to prison where his (allegedly) tiny penis will be greatly appreciated. (We can only hope).
Dickish trout mouth idiot Chris Christie recently told the The New York Post — that he secretly underwent “lap-band” stomach surgery three months ago, not because he’s going to try his hands in national politics in 2016 – but for his poor children who for years had to watch him waddle about like a pregnant women.
From The Atlantic Wire:
The paper reported on Tuesday that the famously rotund Christie underwent “lap-band” stomach surgery three months ago, in a desperate effort to lose weight. The procedure, which involves placing a restrictive tube around the top of the stomach to limit the amount of food a person can take in at one sitting, is considered less risky than the more invasive gastric bypass surgery. Christie didn’t reveal what his weight was before or after the surgery, but sources say he’s already lost 40 pounds.
Christie may have shed the fat from his fat, but he hasn’t shed the noxious gas from around his face whenever he opens his loud mouth.
Scaly reptile and NRA Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre asked supporters a serious question Saturday: “How many Bostonians wish they had a gun two weeks ago?”…Picture for a moment heavily armed, extremely paranoid Bostonians during the day of the bombings. More Muslims would be shot than African-Americans at a Korean store during the Rodney King riots.
“Imagine living in a large metropolitan area where lawful firearms ownership is heavily regulated and discouraged. Imagine waking up to a phone call from the police, warning that a terrorist event is occurring outside and ordering you to stay inside your home.”
He’s got a point. For one thing, if a well-trained terrorist armed to the teeth went on a terror campaign in my neighborhood, I would be seriously pissed off if the cops asked me to stay in doors. First of all, I might have shit to do that day — so Instead of cowering in the basement like Oklahomans during a tornado, I might want to grab the old Bushmaster and exercise my constitutional right to get murdered. Good evening.
Niall Ferguson, Harvard history professor who teaches history, has an opinion about Keynesian economics based on Keynes’ sexual orientation. (Brace yourselves). Because Keynes was more interested in having gay sex and reading poetry to his completely oblivious wife, he would have probably hated Whitney Houston’s Greatest Love of All.
Speaking at the Tenth Annual Altegris Conference in Carlsbad, Calif., in front of a group of more than 500 financial advisors and investors, Ferguson responded to a question about Keynes’ famous philosophy of self-interest versus the economic philosophy of Edmund Burke, who believed there was a social contract among the living, as well as the dead. Ferguson asked the audience how many children Keynes had. He explained that Keynes had none because he was a homosexual and was married to a ballerina, with whom he likely talked of “poetry” rather than procreated. The audience went quiet at the remark. Some attendees later said they found the remarks offensive.
Nothing new for Ferguson who spent all his time last year writing articles about how much he hates Barack Obama. Here’s a suggestion Ferg, let the real economist worry about the economy and history professors worry about what happened yesterday.
Sure they gassed, shot, burned, enslaved, terrorized, committed genocide, performed unthinkable medical experiments, and melted people down for the gold in their teeth (gold is always a great investment), but don’t compare the angelic Nazi’s to today’s evil terrorist because according to Ari Fleischer, George Dubya’s former press secretary, Adolf’s storm troopers weren’t all that bad sometimes.
For one thing they wore proper uniforms which made them very identifiable on the battlefield. (Got to know who you’re shooting at amirite?). Plus they always ”followed the law of war” (never mind the stuff in the first paragraph) something al-Qaeda fighters don’t do. That’s why Fleischer sees nothing wrong with violating a few human rights laws for time to time?
They [Nazi's] followed the law of war. They wore uniforms and they fought us on battlefields. These people [terrorists] are fundamentally, totally by design different. And they need to be treated in a different extrajudicial system.
In other words, less human rights and more Abu Ghraib.
Louisiana’s paragon of the rich Bobby Jindal has buckled under the pressure of the state’s 99% after a plan to lower taxes for the rich and increase it for the poor. The plan would have eliminated income and corporate taxes for big corps so they can focus on important things like creating more jobs for Cayman Island residents…
I realize that some of you think I haven’t been listening. But you’ll be surprised to learn I have been. And here is what I’ve heard from you and from the people of Louisiana — yes, we do want to get rid of the income tax, but Governor, you’re moving too fast and we aren’t sure that your plan is the best way to do it.
So I’ve thought about that. And it certainly wasn’t the reaction I was hoping to hear. And now I’m going to give you my response and it’s not the response people are accustomed to hearing from politicians. Here is my response: Ok, I hear you. So I am going to park my tax plan.
Now, to be clear, I still like my plan. but I recognize success requires give and take. And I recognize that in this instance, I need to be the one who gives so that we can have the chance to achieve success. But I’m not going to pout, I’m not going to take my ball and go home.
Jindal’s moneyed overlords will not be pleased.